I am actively working on separation/divorce. Life has become unlivable with him, I have hit my bottom as the spouse, the codie. He has not hit his bottom as an alcoholic.
I can not tell him though, if I do, he will make my life an even bigger living hell than he already does. Case in point...woken up in the middle of the night to his music on the stereo. It's gotten to where I trigger when I hear the music up loudly. So, I make my plans quietly. The day I move out is the day he will receive divorce papers.