Cyranoak

I detect a little resentment of Al-Anon so just a note, and I'm admittedly protective of Al-Anon, this site is Al-Anon too my friend. Not structured like a meeting, but working around the 12-Steps and practicing the same principles nevertheless.

I'd argue Al-Anon planted the seeds that helped you find this site, as the seeds of AA have been planted in your wife (even as they remain unwatered). Unfortunately, even when watered seeds don't always grow. However, they never grow unless watered. The thing about alcoholism and codependancey is, they only grow if you water them yourself. It doesn't work when others try to do it for you, though others can help. That help is AA and/or Al-Anon, and/or your higher power if you have one (my higher power is Al-Anon-- I don't believe in God).

Take care, good luck, stay strong. She will try to talk you out of it, and it may be hard to say no to her even now. Remember that nothing an alcoholic says can be trusted, and nothing they do can be trusted either until they have demonstrated those actions over and over again for a very long time (conventional wisdom seems to be two years or longer). This is probably true of all human beings now that I think about it. Even then it remains, and always will, one day at a time. That's true on the Al-Anon side as well as my two recent co-dependant relapses have reminded me.

I say this because I'm concerned that, as you move on with your life without your alcoholic wife, you will perhaps neglect your own recovery. In my opinion, that would be a shame.

Take what you want and leave the rest.

Cyranoak