My codependant behavior is to expect all my needs to be met from one person. It took me most of my life to understand that my expectations were unrealistic. My H gives me some things that I need. If he didn't, I wouldn't be with him. But I have needs that he can't fulfill. He is not a nurturer. He doesn't solve life problems in a way that I can use. He can't be my only friend. Al-Anon has given me an outlet to meet others who are capable of meeting some of these needs. I had to find a solution, or move on to another codependant relationship with the same expectations, and the same results; disappointment and blame. I needed help to find solutions. On my own, I was doomed to repeat the same thing over and over. I became willing to try something different and seek help from people who have experience in what I go through. There are solutions for our codependant problems. We have to quit trying to get blood out of a turnip, and have the courage to reach out for help. Al-Anon, counseling, books, are all tools to we can use to build a healthy, serene, and happy us. Hugs, Magic