I put up with my xah for 10 years. He drank when we got together and would say things like "I don't think I could live with out you." I was young and naive and believed it. I even married him after an instance of drunken sexual abuse. But I didn't know how to get out of the situation. In staying with him I honestly thought I was saving him. What I didn't know at the time was that I was slowly killing myself.
One night in 2007 there was a second instance of sexual abuse. I realized that night that if I didn't leave it was only going to get worse. By this time he was punching holes in the walls and that sort of thing. I started planning then but didnt tell him until Mothers Day weekend. I just wanted that extra time to get things in order. He of course didn't want the divorce. He tried to tell me the same thing about not being able to live with out me and all that sort of thing, but it was just his attempt at manipulation.
Your ah and possibly others will try to convince you that you should stay. But stick to your guns on your decision. Definitely get some sort of support, whether its Alanon or someplace else. It's always nice to have a neutral opinion since we are not always in the calmest nonemotional state of mind. Just do what you have to do to keep you and your son safe. Good luck to you!