I too am at a crossroads about leaving/staying/later/now ... I cannot be of much support for that except for the fact that I feel I can survive now becuase of alanon.
I totally understand why you are shying away. I'm not athiest ... I'm just nothing. I have family members strong in different churches and I started to resent organized religion as my life was falling to alcohol. My doctor said I should go to alanon and I looked it up online and was turned off by the religious side ... I already had enough stress, guilt and shame (due to alcoholism) I didn't want to feel that becuase I didn't "have religion". That was in Dec. '08 and I finally went in May '09 when my husband was in the hospital with a failing liver. I went to a couple different meetings and found a couple good ones for me. I've been going since. I still don't "have religion" but I've gained respect for others beliefs and I think of my higher power as being my intuition and when I feel weak ... I believe it's the sun and I enjoy quiet moments sitting in sunshine (can be difficult this time of hear)
I hope that you can give it a try and try different meetings ... see if it's a good fit for you. I've found great insight, widsom and understanding on this site too - amazing group of people that I'm very thankful for.
I can't quote it well but one of alanon's sayings is to "take what you want and leave the rest". Not every meeting supplies me with relevant information and sometimes I don't agree with what someone said but I've found tools in alanon that allow me to JUST listen - to not argue with them, not try to change their mind but to accept their feelings and actions as theirs - not mine. It was a huge relief for me to stop trying to fix everybody I met!
Be well and take care of your self. I just received this same information on this site ... it applies to all of us.
