My A relationship is over, so I have no comment about your question. However, one line you wrote stuck out to me, and I think is important to highlight.
"I'm not sure that I want to attempt to change myself so much for someone else and not for me."
Girl, I feel this way too, now. I do not try to figure out what's going on in an A's head, but they might feel that way too about not drinking.
Relationships are so complicated and alcoholism only increases problems that might exist even without booze.