Old 01-08-2011, 03:10 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Babyblue
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
I'm not a fan of labels.

I'd say, no it does not make you co-dependent. In fact, there is no universal standard for co-dependency and there is a reason it isn't a clinical diagnosis.

Caring for people isn't co-dependency.
Nor is worrying, hoping or loving.

I think people take it to the extreme and seem to think that helping anyone or admitting any type of 'need' is co-dependency. It isn't.

People need one another.

The problems happen when we subdue our own happiness for the other person, and the other person takes more from us than we have to give. So we keep giving and giving at our own expense. To me that is what co-dependency is.

Don't try to label who you are, just be honest with yourself about what you are doing and what price you really are paying.

There is such a thing as denial. Denying that an alcoholic has a problem or that it doesn't affect you. It does. Even if you aren't thinking about it on a conscious level, it does.

If it makes it easier to put a label on it fine, but that doesn't always get to the core issues within us that allow us to put up with things or why we let things affect us as they do.

Sometimes seeing the truth in a situation is too painful to acknowledge so we put a mental and emotional block on ourselves for self preservation.

We also normalize very stressful things because the alternative (having to face the pain) isn't something we are ready for.

Just be aware of the toll (realized or not) that living/loving an alcoholic takes on you.

Take care of yourself.
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