My XAH wrote the financial seperation and it was fair so I signed it. He kept his house, I kept mine, we split 4 vehicles, I got the two I wanted. I sold my house and put the little $ I got in the bank. (real estate mkt. bad), but I wanted out of the neighborhood.....he is still there......I am renting now and am fine with it.....actually with a childhood friend. She and I divorced at the same time. She had a basement apt. she needed to rent out. Perfect. The actual divorce was only $400. because we wrote our own seperation agreement. My XAH has not worked in 5 yrs. since he lost his job from a DUI and refusing to go to treatment. He has spent all his money so will probably have to sell his house to live. He says he can't get any job because he is a felon. He is I think on assistance. He still drinks/drugs all day. He has a code/rich girlfriend so he probably will die before he gets help. He doesn't want help. I tried. I am in so much gratitude to be free of the life with an addict/alcoholic. It was crazy. I am retired from teaching and have a little pension and a partime job so I am happy. My life now is so different. It is serene. I am very active in Alanon and have a few wonderful recovery friends. All I can say is there is a way out if you can let go and trust HP and work a program.