Freeingmyself,
My dear, why..after what? almost a year of living apart are you still are talking about visitation and why are you still trying to get him to take responsibility for his behaviour? You are living separate and apart, aren't you? Is your plan to file for a divorce or are you still hoping and praying and wishing for him to change into something wonderful so that you can all live happily after after?
I'm not seeing how you and the life of your children is any better than when 'he was living with you.'
(That was my candy coated version)