Thanks for your replies.I posted after my neice handed me her mothers checkbooks. She found them while she was cleaning house for her mom and asked me to take them away so she would not be tempted.She told me what an awful person she was, how she could not stop herself from using and how awful she felt about herself. She said her Mom would always take care of her no matter what she did and this made her feel even worse about herself. I have watched my sister enable for years but I used to do a lot of that myself and I know I have to bite my tongue and not tell her she is helping her daughter kill herself.I think the urge to help the child is as strong as the addict's for the drug.I felt very inadequate when my neice asked me for advice. When she says she is a total worthless piece of-- and describes how she steals from the person who pays her rent, her car payments, her food ect it is really hard for me to maintain loving aunt expression when I am agreeing with her inside. I offered to do research on rehab possibilities but even this is something she could do herself.