I do not think you are giving up your marriage, quite the contrary you are making a true effort...he is the one giving up his commitment to you by his actions. Mute the movie and see the actions. It is very very hard. But very telling. I had an XABF once. He drank and did stupid things. Then he cried his heart out. Only to do it again. It is a vicious cycle. Then the abuse starts. The more abusive the relation gets, the more flowers they send. Its a sad dance. A downward spiral as phoenix says.
Therapy and SR have been a life safer for me.
YOU are important, your happiness matters, your future matters, your present matters.
You cannot cure or control him... or anyone. We all have patterns, a personal history, evasion mechanisms, self awareness (or lack of it)... unless he hits bottom and commits to AA or similar program, AND therapy, it will only get worse.
This disease is chronic and progressive. Please hear all the wise people talking to you. You deserve joy and not pain in your life and whoever thinks badly of you for any decision you take isnot a true friend and you are better off without them. Healthy people and friends will support you in many ways. But you have to seek them: therapy, group therapy, Alanon even AA (listening to their side made me open my eyes to what it took for them to hit bottom...and it scared the hell out of me), SR..
You are not alone and we are rooting for you !