Hi, Life, and welcome to Soberrecovery!
For me, it took getting into a twelve step program
and working it like my life depended on it.
Because it did.
I learned about letting go
I learned about what I thought was living moment to moment
was actually MANIPULATING moment to moment
and that I'd never just ... been.
We don't have to do that any more.
have you considered Alanon?
I am also a recovering alcoholic
so my particular twelve steps
were those.
But the twelve steps
whether worked for alcohol
or for practically anything else
is a system that others just cannot beat
only copy.
Welcome to SR!
I hope you find the support you need
to make the changes you want
and make a few friends along the way!