My family lived in the shadow of a raging alcoholic man who was my grandfather. Even when he stopped drinking in my young age (early/mid 70s?)...he was still a mean, raging, dry drunk. He remained the same man, hurting his family in innumerable ways until he died 2-3 years ago (I can't remember as I have been completely estranged for more than a decade from him). So he finally changed...he died and is free from the torment of the alcohol.
But the thing is, very few of his family have made their own changes...and this was never more clear to me than over the holidays in talking to my aunts, uncles, mom, and dad. My mom summed up their collective pain when she noted that "The worst part of the whole situation is that no one will ever get to hear that man say "I'm sorry"". These people are still hurting, still holding on to whatever they can from that situation. It was an opportunity for me to see, if not share, that there is another way. That the only solution to serenity in this situation, and really, whether the alcoholic is here, gone, alive, dead, active, dry, recovering or otherwise...is to find our OWN PEACE through working the steps of Al Anon and releasing the alcoholic to their own life. Its a choice we have to make on our own...and, more importantly, ACTIONS we have to take on our own, alongside sponsors and recovery groups as a whole.
I carry a lot of resentments for a lot of things in my life. In recovery I am learning the language of letting go, of trusting it to a higher power, in order to be able to live today in serenity.
Hope that helps.