Originally Posted by
Snack4 
Both local meetings in my area are held on the same night at the same time in 2 different locations. Any suggestions as to which would be better for me?
I just came out of a good relationship with a RA and I am also codependent. Any advice or guidance from past experiences would be greatly appreciated.
For me, attending CODA was like putting the cart before the horse. I needed to go to Al-Anon first to stay in touch with how my husbands drinking and living with sobriety was affecting me. I found that problems don't cease and relationships don't heal just because the drinker stops drinking.
I wanted the relationship so badly to work and improve so that we could live happily ever after. But there is a lot of "footwork" that has to happen in terms of my own recovery first so that I have a "me" to give to the relationship. My experience with the CODA meetings I attended was that there were a lot of people there who simply would not admit that their lives had been affected by someone else's drinking. It is like expecting a flower to bloom without ever getting to the root of the problem.
I didn't come to this conclusion overnight. I went to both types of meetings for awhile before I made up my mind. For me, there is no simpler softer way in dealing with someone's alcohol abuse. Attending Al-Anon helped me eliminate denial and enabling the drinker and doing what I needed to do for me.