@sesh: I've been wondering how you've been doing--thanks for providing the insightful update. I knew you had the strength to do what is right for your family. You're an inspiration.
spasierb: There is no doubt about it--seeing our loved ones die alone is heart-rending. That's what makes this disease so maddening, ugly, frustrating, and sad. Too many alcoholics choose that path. My mother kicked my Dad out when I was 12, thinking it would be a wake-up call. The wake-up call was for the survivors--alcoholics DO choose alcohol over their families every day. My Dad was one of them, and he dropped dead on the streets of the Bowery, talented, bright, creative, kind, sick and homeless at age 43.
My mother did the right thing, and I never, ever felt she had abandoned him. My dad never felt abandoned, either. At least that's what I gather from the letters he wrote to her from New York. He knew he had made his bed.
hugs to you.