Welcome to the SR family!
I understand what it is like anticipating everyone's needs and trying to control outcomes to prevent uncomfortable situations. I was exhausted from trying to save everyone and make everything have a happy ending.
I was being affected by other's behavior and trying to control them in effort to manipulate outcomes. I was codependent. Still am, and working on getting better.
A book that helped be discover my codie tendencies and offers practical steps for overcoming my codie ways is Melody Beatties book: "Codependent No More".
Here is a post from one of our sticky (permanent) posts that offers examples of codependency:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html
Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.