Old 01-03-2011, 10:14 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Bella19
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 6
Thank you for the reads Phoenix, I'll check them out. I'll be looking for an alanon or the friends/family version of it in Austin.

I understand as much as I want to I can't control her reactions or force her to accept treatment even if I get her there in body. That doesn't stop me from wanting to do all I can-- getting the horse to the water so to say. Logistics on options was an early reaction. Information (this message board and websites and meetings) is step 2 to figure out which of my options/approaches has the most potential for a positive effect. Step 3... profit? plan in progress, but I think the first thing I am taking from this board is don't forget to take care of myself first. I have to be mentally healthy to help my other family through this too, and to not resent her and make it harder for her to come back to us.

My dad isn't "on board" with all this so much as just standing there weathering the storm as best he can. He wants her to get better, waiting for it really. It was my idea for the emergency fund when I found out how much debt there was. He wants to do something but doesn't know what and he's never really asked for help on anything. But he respects my oppinions and will consider any information I bring him. If all I can do is print out the 10 ways list, mail it to him with a meeting list he can go to, then I'll make sure he is better protected that way.

I can't leave it alone entirely right now though. The more I learned from family members who live near my parents and knew but didn't say anything the more I am convinced my dad will stay with her until it breaks him. The things she said echo in my mind-- so painful I can't ever imagine him being able to forget no matter the apology. If it was said to me I wouldn't have been able to lift my head afterwards and he just stood there like it was familiar territory. I don't want to leave him alone with that.
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