Thanks everyone
Intellectually I agree with everyone too. I think I just wanted to hear it from you guys here. I always allow him to make me feel sorry for his situation, and of course my little girls are saying "I miss daddy-daddy daddy daddy--" He does love them and I think me too. Loves Alcohol and Porn WAY more, or else he would have stopped both of these a long time ago.
I would like for him to see the kids since it has been 3 mos and he is claiming to be sober the entire time and attending meetings 3x a day. Attitude doesn't reflect that yet-(no way to gauge if that is true or not--I refuse to ask his parents as he wouldn't get really drunk in front of them anyway --and they always say ("he is doing wonderful").
I will ask him to stay somewhere else while he is in town. It makes the most sense. I don't know if I mentioned that this visit is just a few days and then he is going back to his parents.
Taking him out of the game was not easy for me to do and I feel like I have made a lot of progress getting him out of my head, but I still have a lot of work to do. No babies involved, I would have been gone years ago--his behavior was horrible, being brought home by the police 2x in 6 weeks, dui's, disappearing for days at a time so he could really binge on alcohol and porn. When he started getting really trashed I would throw him out of the house and he would be gone for days. Didn't matter if I had a shift at the hospital or not, as that was "my problem" as far as watching the babies. Rum bottles hidden all over, a couple of magazines hidden. Absolute Insanity.
I believe it is true that when they are gone you tend to forget how outrageously the behave or somehow diminish their actions. Glad I just reminded myself. Thank you for all of your support and awesome advice!!!!
Hailee