hey, stuck,
welcome to the sober recovery community! this is a great board, and the f & f is a great forum - you have come to the right place if you want to try and find a way out of craziness.
i understand how and why you are stuck, and i wouldn't act like it's easy for you to leave.
but...i think you do want to find a way out, and i would just say at this point, that you really don't have to be stuck in the midst. it is a choice, just a hard one.
maybe you can devise an exit plan?
we're here to help