heartonmysleeve, I found SR when I was doing an internet surf on dry drunk syndome. It was through the posts on SR that I have realized that my DDH has been verbally and psychologically abusing me. My DDH has an additive personality so even though he stopped drinking he has maintained traits that makes him more susceptible to addictions.
The following is an excerpt from
Al-Anon/Alateen - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
SR is based upon the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon. Al-Anon/Alateen, known as Al-Anon Family Groups, is an international
"fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems." They
"help families of alcoholics by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic." Al-Anon adapted the Twelve Steps from Alcoholics Anonymous replacing 'alcoholics' with 'others' in the last step, Step 12. The Al-Anon and Alateen literature focuses on problems common to family members and friends of alcoholics (e.g., loyalty to those who are abusive, excessive care-taking, inability to differentiate love and pity) rather than the problems of the alcoholic.
Al-Anon meetings may begin with the Suggested Al-Anon/Alateen Welcome (depending on each autonomous group) which starts out:
We welcome you to the __________________ Al-Anon Family Group and hope you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy. We who live, or have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless, and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.
Al-Anon acknowledges that members begin with low self-esteem, but teaches that this is largely a side-effect of unrealistically overestimating their personal agency and control. Specifically this is in relation to member's attempts to control another person's drinking behavior and, when they fail, blaming themselves for the other person's behavior. As family members of alcoholics learn to recognize the pathologies in their families, assign the responsibility of those pathologies to a disease, forgive themselves, accept that they were adversely affected by the pathologies, and ultimately learn to accept their family member's shortcomings, they begin to improve.
Al-Anon was formed in 1951 by Lois Wilson, wife of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) co-founder Bill Wilson. She recognized the need for such an organization as family members living with AA members began to identify their own pathologies associated with their family members' alcoholism.
In Lois's Story, she explained why, as the spouse of an alcoholic, she also required treatment.
"After a while I began to wonder why I was not as happy as I ought to be, since the one thing I had been yearning for all my married life [Bill's sobriety] had come to pass. Then one Sunday, Bill asked me if I was ready to go to the meeting with him. To my own astonishment as well as his, I burst forth with "Damn your old meetings!" 
and threw a shoe as hard as I could. This surprising display of temper over nothing pulled me up short and made me start to analyze my own attitudes. ......My life's purpose of sobering up Bill, which had made me feel desperately needed, had vanished. ... I decided to strive for my own spiritual growth. I used the same principles as he did to learn how to change my attitudes. ..... We began to learn that ...... the partner of the alcoholic also needed to live by a spiritual program."— Lois Wilson , Lois's Story in How Al-Anon Works
Just my personal opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Love and Peace,
Phoenix