Hi nicegal.
If you are worried about physical violence, please talk to an expert about how to handle this. A spouse abuse counselor, the domestic violence unit at your local police dept., your lawyer... somebody. There have to be things you can do to minimize the danger. Please be safe above all else. And please feel free to come here and scream when it starts to get you crazy. We understand what you're feeling and it's good to let the steam off someplace.
Hugs,
Smoke