SashaMB

This part really resonated with me, as one of the biggest physical affects AH's drinking had on me was that I became an insomniac. I would lie awake thinking about his drinking and what to do about it. I would intentionally stay up very late without going into the bedroom to make sure he went to sleep before I went to bed, so as to avoid late-night arguments. Lack of sleep may seem like a small thing to most, but I got to the point where the fatigue made it difficult for me to function. Even now, having been on my own for more that 2 months, I still have difficulty sleeping. I'm not sure what the answer to your situation is, but I am convinced that sleep deprivation is a key ingredient to participating in the alcoholic (lack of) rationale. The one thing that us non-alcoholics should have going over our alkie spouses is a clear head. Too much insomnia and that goes out the window. I remember when I told AH I was leaving that I just needed to be able to eat and sleep. Very basic human requirements, but when your alcoholic drives you to not be able to take care of such basic needs, it's time to focus (at least a little bit) on taking care of yourself.