My dad had rage outbursts like your husband but he was not an alcoholic or in recovery. So perhaps that is just who he is?
I can only tell you that growing up in that type of household was very hard. When my parents got along, it was great, but when my dad was in a fit of anger, we all became anxious and worried about my mom.
To this day I have anxiety and I can almost bet it comes from growing up in that kind of household. So much so that I have a tough time expressing my feelings because I am scared that if I do, someone is going to become enraged with me. This has affected my relationships naturally.
I didn't want my parents to divorce but I was a child. I just wanted peace so I became the peace-maker, people pleaser so that things would stay calm.
In retrospect, us kids paid a huge price for my dad's temperment. As long as you are aware of this and maybe look for signs of their anxiety (kids shouldn't feel anxious in their own home around the people they love the most). Counseling would have helped me growing up so that is also something to keep in mind.
Hope this helps
