I have learned that no matter how scared and lonely I think another person is, and no matter how responsible I feel for them, unless they are a small child, it is best for me to let that person sink or swim without too much influence from me. My recommendation is to work your own program (kudos for going to al-anon and taking your teenager too) and leave your spouse to her own program.
It was difficult work to begin to identify how I try to control the outcomes, but with Al-Anon and reading I have learned. No matter what you do or say, she is going to do what she is going to do. So taking care of you is the best thing you can do.