It is a lot easier for me to eliminate drinking than to moderate. It took a bloody long time to learn that lesson, but I have learned it. Now I never wrestle with myself whether I should or shouldn't have a drink. It is just something I used to do.
The program which cannot be discussed here, makes the supposition that alcoholism is an allergy. True or not, it is a pragmatic approach for me. If I had an allergy to peanuts, I would not mess with trying to determine how many peanuts would kill me. Ethanol is just something my body cannot handle anymore. I don't envy those who can drink, anymore than I am envious of someone who can lick the end of their nose.