Bless your heart. I would say get to a meeting asap- just for the advice , experience and the help in keeping sane, until something breaks. i think you have a heart of gold, and I pray that you get some help here. for you, and the rest will follow. there is not always a happy ending, but sometimes things get better, and we are able to stay sane and find some happiness, which i am guessing you need very much.
the al-anon meetings may give you some needed support. many many find it so.
and hang here, too. there are many who have been where you are, and lived to find peace. hugs,
chicory