NLP - welcome!
I could cheer for both sides: stay or go. The truth is that it's your journey. I've been married for over 20 years and AH went to inpatient treatment about 18 months ago. When it's good: it's good. When it's not ... like now just after a relapse - not good.
We are going to counseling soon - both actually questioned our marriage during the last couple weeks. I feel confident about my recovery to date; still a work in progress nut no where near the codependent enamber I was! With his relapse ... all the lying, arguing, and my bad micro managing behavior returned.
I've asked my self a million times over the last 3 weeks "what do I want?", "what should I do?" "why do I do this crazy roller coaster?"
I've found great strength and support from Alanon. It definitely took quite a few meetings to figure how it works - I thought they could just tell me how to fix it!
You've had great advice here so far - I just want to echo "be kind to yourself" and "the 3 C's: you did not cause it, you cannot cure it and you cannot control it". Try hard to let go of your guilt - it's not yours to own.
Stay in touch
