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Old 12-30-2010, 07:46 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Hailee
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northfield NJ
Posts: 31
Save Yourself The end will be Ugly

Hi. My name is Hailee, and I am married to an A for past 10 years. My husband has only been sober for the frst 3 years. He has a long history of alcoholism (20 + years), but that was all a big surprise to me. I didnt find out about it until I started finding empty rum bottles hidden everywhere in the house. That's when the family told me his secret. Two babies in.

I am a critial care nurse in an inner city hospital in NJ. Cirrhosis is an ugly way out. First the jaundice, the dementia, and then the bleeding. So much blood. If he already has esoph varices, you probably have already gotten a glimpse of this. My last patient with cirrhosis was just in his 40's and he was bleeding from his mouth, frank red blood, just spitting it out onto tissues, dried red blood in his mouth, on his lips and tongue, he was bleeding from his rectum, was incontinent of stool, we were transfusing him, giving him platelets to help with clotting. It was horrible to watch even for professionals. This patient was "with it" mentally on admission and admitted to his drinking issue but was really focused on "they keep telling me I can't drink anymore." Can you imagine bleeding out like that and still considering consuming more alcohol? Alcoholism truly is insanity.

If your husband continues to drink he will just start bleeding. My guess is that it will happen sooner than later depending on the condition of his liver at this point.

Get the hell out of there! Why would you stay and watch him destroy himself? You are under no obligation to do this. I understand marriage and committment, I am a Christian, but at this point he has chosen his destiny and you need to save yourself and your sanity.

I put my AH out almost 3 months ago. He is at his parents abt 800 miles away from here. We have 3 little ones, 7, 5, and 15 months. He contributes nothing financially, although he used to be the bread winner just a few years ago. He has shown no remorse for his actions yet, ie being stone cold drunk when I come home from my hospital shift 7p-7a. My 5 yr old was changing the baby's diaper while he is passed out on the couch. Can you say "child endangerment" I am fortunate that CPS did not come in and take my kids, bc I am as responsible as he is as I already know he is a drunk, and I left these babies in his care anyway. I am as responsible as he is.

I know it is hard to get away, or throw them out. I still don't know what I am going to do about my AH yet. It's hard to let go of being "the dream couple" I thought we were. I am new here and I probably shouldn't give anybody advice,, but I wanted you to know from a medical standpoint that the end will be VERY UGLY, and noone should witness that.

Maybe give yourself a little space and time to think. Separate yourself from the situation for a bit. It may help you gain a little more perspective.

I truly wish you the best. God bless.
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