This is a mirror of what I experienced but mine wasn't into coke. He was a beer/pot addict alcoholic. I have been divorced 3 years and have not yet worked on "my part" in the breakdown of the marriage. I am about ready. I have been putting myself back together through Alanon and SR. I was also going through menapause and getting sober myself so I wasn't fun to be with. We seperated twice and reconciled and and finally split after a couple of years. I did write some amends to him a few years ago. I did try alot.....took him to 3 treatment centers and detoxes. Visited him every week for 6 months in jail for his umteenth DUI, paid his bills, maintained his house, drove him around when he got out....It got to be too much and there were a couple of deal breakers in there. He was doing pills. He lost his very good job because he walked out of treatment. He was progressing deeper and deeper into brain fry. It was a matter of survival for me. I identify with the financial worry. That was another deal breaker. I was not going to watch him waste our money on using and sitting around all day watching me go off to work. I am so grateful to Alanon. I will go forever! I was also an adult child of 2 alcoholics. There is an alanon workbook that I will tackle soon on "my part". It would not matter if I apoligized to him or not. He would not "hear" me. We are no contact and that is the way it should be. I could send him a letter maybe. I would not want a response. I have an alanon and aa sponser. Neither would want me to do it because what he did was far more than what I did. I could do it and burn it. My XAH was secretly filming me getting dressed and that was the deal breaker. He was on match.com saying he was divorced before we were divorced. But for me to move forward I will work on my part. I am glad you are here and hope you go to alanon.