A recovered alcoholic early on has a slew of other issues which in a way is harder because in your head you think: "but they have stopped drinking, why is he still nuts? Maybe he IS just nuts? Oh great now I am not in love with an alcoholic, but I am in love with a nut." Then I pull out the handbook on how to date a nut!
For you it would be a manipulator. It may just be who he is. In which case, sounds like you are very tired of it (of course). Take away the booze and there will be core issues to deal with. You may not like the sober version.
I'm sorry that you are getting tangled up in his rehab program. That alone is suspicious to me because drug counselors are NOT relationship therapists. They have no business in my mind to even give relationship advice or help. All they are to do is give the recovered person tools to deal with his life outside of rehab, including relationships.
The fact that he can get away with calling you so much maybe means they have very inconsistent rules. I don't know. Maybe I am just comparing your bf's rehab with my RABF rehab and they do not want me involved in any way and would not ever call me or intervene. Its like they put a moat around him so he can focus on his recovery. It sucked but hearing what you are going through tells me that maybe keeping me at a distance is the best thing.
You can tell the rehab place not to contact you or not let him contact you. Period. They need to honor that.
Sorry for a ramble but I feel for you having been dragged into his rehab mess. it is very odd to me that a rehab would do that. Particulary because you are a gf and not married or have kids together. If you were, then they may try to involve you but even there they take very careful steps. His counselor sounds very inappropriate to me and poorly trained.