I think "reality" is a relative concept when it comes to addicts. I think they create a reality where they can live with themselves, and the rules that apply to the rest of the world don't apply to them because their situation is unique.
In my case, I was supposed to be the supportive one and selflessly keep giving of myself because he had had such a hard life. It was all about him, always. One of our kids asked me once if Dad really believed he was the center of the universe. And that's pretty much how it was. If I had a headache, he would explode in "so I guess I'm not going to get laid today then, huh, is that it?" If I had a bad day at work, his was worse. If one of the kids was sick, he was sicker.
So when you talk about a two-way street in a relationship? I don't think there is such a thing with an addict.