I am so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, the majority of us have been through this same exact thing. I remember when I found out that my ABF was cheating on me. This was about a year and a half ago. At the time, he was "dry" and he says that me finding out and making a big deal about it is what drove him to drink again. At the time, I believed it. Now that I have been reading on here, and reading several different Al-anon books, I now know that I am not the one who caused any of this. I was able to forgive him because I love him, but I still haven't forgotten about it. You will figure out what is best for you, and you will do it. I highly suggest finding an Al-anon meeting in your area.