The counselor is real - I know that because it's the one his daughter has been speaking to regarding G's progress (SHE got the number to call from the nurse's station phone where a nurse made the mistake of allowing G to "borrow" the phone the first night there. He called me 15 times that night, so I had to call sometime he wasn't there and tell them to put up a sticky saying that G wasn't allowed to use the free nurse's station phone for any reason - then he'd be stuck using up his quarters.)
We spoke about a half hour this morning, most of the time was spent with me summarizing what has been going on. (I did a great job summarizing, too. It took 20 minutes to get it all out there, but I hit on everything just lightly enough that someone experienced with this sort of thing could fill in all the blanks. Take that, G and your "You talk to much"!)
He advised me to go to counseling, which is something I had actually decided I needed to do last night. Does anyone know how to find a good counselor?
He also advised me to set my boundaries now, while G was still in rehab, so I would be familiar with them when I got out. So that's something I am going to work on today...
I may be back to you guys later for some insight into other things to add, but I need to get it started on my own. So far, he is not getting the keys to this apartment, and I am seriously considering saying that he's not allowed to visit at all. Also, I will not run his bills anymore, he has to do it so that he can see the damage his spending is causing. And I removed any mention of my name or salary from his budget sheets, including the $100 I traditionally started sending to him each pay - I will not let him take me down with him, not even gradually. Beyond that, I have to do my thinking today.
Thank you so much for all your input, especially Jen and LaTeeDa. This isn't an easy thing to do, but I am starting to feel better, little by little, so I know I'm on the right track. (((HUGS)))