I know exactly how you feel. I don't feel any love for my husband anymore, and want desperately to leave. My husband has cirrhosis of the liver and all of the complications that go with it so I feel like I have to stay. He still drinks daily and has all the wonderful personality traits drunks do. Not only do we deal with the drinking, we deal with the fact that he is dying and we get to watch it slowly happen because of the drinking. I'm sorry for you and sorry for me too.