Thanks for the replies. I am seeing a councelor on my own. So that will help. I am having such a hard time, because everyone I have talked to, there stories are ten times worse then what I have been through. It makes me question if I am overreacting or not. As time has gone by, he isn't drinking, but I am still exploding. So that tells me that it is me and not the drinking. Don't get me wrong, drinking was/is a factor, but it seems so different from all of your examples. I am not trying to make excuses, but I just feel that the change has to be on my part more then his, because it is my reactions that are making things worse. His drinking is limited and it is my fear of I don't know what that makes things explode. It is like I become a drama queen all of the sudden.
Today is particuarly hard. I feel like I'm greiving someone's death. We share the same friends, so I decided to not drink with him, but that means I have to sacrifice hanging out with them. It makes me sad. I just wish I had better control over my emotions so that I could go and have fun with them.
We have a family reunion coming up and it entails a lot of partying. I am struggling because I want to party with my family and with my boyfriend for one night, but I am scared I will lose it. I know I won't, but this one night could set us back and I worry about it.
I wish so much that we could work out some compromise that will make both of us happy that would allow us able to go have a few drinks once and a while. It is possible because I have done it. Like special occasion drinking for me.
We agreed that he could go out with his friends every other Friday night as long as he didn't come home. I don't mind that. It allows him to have fun without me getting out of hand. If he isn't going to stop, I KNOW there is some happy medium. It's just how much extra am I willing to give, ya know?
Everyone say's I should leave, BUT I DON"T WANT TO. I'm trying really hard to work on being my own person in a stable relationship, which I feel we have usually.
Today, Brian (my boyrfriend), left a message saying he missed me and the old us. We used to have so much fun. I am so young and I don't what happened to me. I love him and I love us together. The love is really strong that leaving isn't an option right now.
I suspect all of you will tell me I need to leave and what I am doing won't work. But every situation is different.
Kates