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Old 12-29-2010, 09:10 AM
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StarCat
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Recognizing Manipulation

...my A is in inpatient rehab right now. Due to his (non-drinking-related) medical conditions he couldn't go to a normal rehab, so the psychologist found a good in-hospital one. The insurance is paying for everything (thank God for small favors) and the only thing he can spend money on in there is quarters for the phone, so we are actually saving a bundle and curbing his spending addiction as well. I'm finally having some time to myself, and I'm getting to know his family, all of which (except his mother) have been extremely supporting and at least fairly open about their own thoughts and experiences.

I have it lucky right now.

Unfortunately, he's still the king of manipulation, and he keeps trying it. He doesn't hall his daughter or sister anymore, because they basically called him a liar.
I especially love the comment he gave his sister in the last phone call with her, "Can't I be the only thing in your life that you worry about for once?" She's got three kids, a drunk husband, a mother-in-law who can't even walk on steps anymore, two jobs, and I won't even begin to get into the rest - but he wants to be the only concern in her life.

Meanwhile, he's given me the list of all the times between sessions where he has free time, so I can be certain to be near the phone then and answer when he calls. He's apparently in until January 15th, and can only spend money on phone calls, but he took $80 out of the ATM yesterday when they took everyone out to the bank. That's an awful lot of phone calls...
He told me this morning that I should be sure to iron his shirts today, so they'll be all ready when he gets out, and started going into a long complaint about how "everyone else here are drug addicts and murderers". He claims that his therapist said that I should be the only one to attend the "family therapy" session over the weekend (if his family isn't going, I'm not going, because I am not going in to see him by myself), and that the head doctor has taken on his case personally, has become his personal friend, and has concluded that he's not really an alcoholic, he was just "self-medicating" due to anxiety and they're going to prescribe him a pill for that.

I guarantee you he hasn't mentioned that he never saw his father sober while growing up, hasn't talked about how he drank heavily even while taking the alprazolam tranquilizer his doctor gave him, hasn't mentioned how estranged his family has become over the years, etc, etc.

I'm having several of his family over at the apartment tomorrow to get together and talk about things... I'm actually looking forward to it, it will be nice to have some noise in this apartment again, and replace the memories of drunken screaming with the sounds of excited children breaking stuff.
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