Originally Posted by
IWLSAST 
Well here i sit, 61 days sober today...not real sure that i will make it to 62.
Whatever choice you make by tomorrow, remember, that responsibility is totally on you. It sounds like from having a previous 11 years sober, you should have at least learned that much in your previous sobriety.
Originally Posted by
IWLSAST Have you ever seen one of those terrible, horrible places?
I have been to several terrible, horrible places in my 23 years of sobriety, as well as others, but thankfully the joyous places and times have outnumbered them which I am grateful for in this 'reprieve' in life I have been given by Him.
I am sorry for your recent family difficulties you need to tend to and pray that things get easier for you.
Originally Posted by
IWLSAST ...and AA meetings simply do not work for me, (yes, i have tried quite a few),
I do not know what 'quite a few' means, as it varies for some. I know in 1984 and 1985, when I went, I thought going once a week was enough. Heck, I even went to 5 meetings in one month! What did those people want from me?
It wasn't till I came back in 1987, and I got serious, and made a commitment and went to 'daily' meetings. Got a sponsor. Actually worked the steps and applied them in my life that the promises began to come true in my life.
I don't know, maybe you have been through the process.
Now, prior to that, I said what you did. It didn't work for me. But I realized otherwise. I just didn't work for it. I know AA works for many who think it doesn't work. "Rarely" have we seen......well, I suppose you know the rest. I found there is a difference of being 'around' AA and 'in' AA. I would reconsider giving up on AA.
But somehow I get the feeling, you may have already projected failure with AA concerning yourself, but who knows, perhaps someone else may heed the words offered.
Originally Posted by
IWLSAST For now, i am off to the gym and lunch with a good friend, then run some chores...the universe has the rest of the day.
Carlos
I wouldn't beat yourself up that bad. If you are still able to physically go work out at a gym (which I wasn't at only two months clean coming off withdrawals still), and have lunch with a good friend (not everyone has a good friend) and run some chores (not everyone even has enough money to buy what they need), then you don't really sound the worst for wear. You actually sound like you're doing better than you think for being only two months sober. So that's something positive going, isn't it?