Hi Kelly and welcome to SR!
IT's such a difficult time starting out in the recovery 'circles'
whether it's a friend, a partner, or other family member.
The point is,
you know there's a problem
and it's now interferring with YOUR life.
Maybe that's the starting point?
Because
I can tell you speaking as a recovering alcoholic
if your friend doesn't want help
he's not going to GET help.
So maybe it's time to take another approach?
Instead of focusing on what HE is doing...
(or not doing, causing or not causing)
stand tall within YOUR circle.
*I* can't watch this any more.
*I* am uncomfortable being around you when you're blacked out.
*I* am seeing this progress, and *I* don't know how to help you stop.
You're not 'wrong' in seeing the disease of alcoholism run its course.
They will try to make you feel like it's 'wrong' for you to notice it.
It is NOT wrong for you to notice it.
YOu do not require permission to step out
of the path of a burning oncoming train.
This reads more like you're wanting to stand up FOR yourself
rather than stand up TO someone else.
We can't control what someone else does...
but we CAN control whether we're a part of it.
I hope you'll read these stickies at the top of the forum
there's a tone of information there.
Maybe you'll find something that can help.
Welcome - you're not alone!