Welcome hailee, you’ve found a great place. Allot of good responses. Trying to figure them out is pointless. All that matters is that you have taken the right steps to do what is right for you and your children. It takes a lot of strength and courage to have them leave. It sounds like you were holding it all together without his financial help so you know that that can be done and you will survive.
I believe it’s exactly what tjp613 said, anger – shifting blame away from his disease, his choices so he doesn’t have to take responsibility for his actions.
The only thoughts coming out of an alcohol soaked brain are with keeping that brain saturated everything else is pointless to the alcoholic.