Hey Teggie!
When I first read your post, I thought "control freaks unite"!
Looks like soul searching is the theme for the day. I think I'm doing a bit of it too. Only I'm not religious. I never liked believing that I couldn't control everything. I wrote just a little earlier today that I wanted to stop feeling like my life is out of control. It seems that in my desire to have control, I lost it. funny little paradox.
So, I guess what I'm doing is realizing that I need to let go a little bit (or a lot). For me, it's not giving it to anyone to take care of for me but an effort to be at peace with myself.
I need to learn to accept that regardless of my faults I'm a good person. I know that this will be a battle for me, the battle to let go of my fears and my fear is that letting go of that "white knuckled grip" will mean chaos. But, wait.. I'm already living in chaos.
So I'll try something different. Maybe for me that HP is just a new trust in myself. The belief that I can actually muddle my way through this life and stop worrying about all the what if's and why did that happen.
Hugs!
M