Higher powers
Hey everyone!! I am at it again lol, in my recovery and study I have kind of come into a roadblock. I am stuck on step 2. I have completed step 1 in that I know I am powerless, that was easy for me. However beleiving there is a power greater than me that can restore me to sanity is where I have trouble. I was raised a baptist, attended church alot as a kid. In my adult life however I have moved away from God, I have begun to question his existance when all of sciences rules and such seem to dispute it. I don't feel in touch with God as I did when I was younger. I've read alot in my books about it, how your HP may not be a religious concept, but more spiritual. I'm sounding confusing I know. I know there is "something" giving me some spiritual strength, I don't know if it's my "voice within" , God, or what it is. I can't seem to put my finger on it. I know it could give me more if I got in better contact with it and turned all my baggage over, and I so want to do that. I realize now what a control freak I am. I have trouble accepting there is something greater than me that I can give control too. Afraid of being let down if that makes any sense. Afraid to hand over my baggage when I keep such a white knuckled grip on it. I spent all my breaks and downtime at work reflecting on this. Any insights y'all? Tell me how y'all discovered your HP. Maybye something will click with me. Thanks y'all! Hugs! Teggie