Your place in life is not to be a full-time babysitter for someone who refuses to take care of himself.
I've discovered (and am still discovering) that I need to do what makes me happy, regardless of how it affects my A's drinking. I went to several Al-Anon meetings before he stopped me from attending, and now I intend to go on a regular basis to the group I liked the best. I know he won't like it (he can't stop me right now because he's in inpatient rehab, but he'll be upset when he gets back), but it's what I need to do.
I've actually started to realize that since he's been in rehab, he doesn't really ask me what I've been doing, or how I feel - aside from "Do you miss me? Are you looking forward to me getting out?" I have certainly become part of the furniture, and it's time for me to build my life into something beautiful that I can enjoy, whether or not it has his support. I am hoping it time he will come to realize it is better for the both of us, because right now I don't want to think about the alternative (ending the relationship).
Ironically, while he managed to isolate me from everyone I knew and enjoyed spending time with, I have grown much closer to hisfamily through this whole process (excluding his mother). From what I have read in the forum, this is not the norm, and so I am extremely grateful.