Cala, you wrote
"No, I'm not in recovery; I'm not an alcoholic or a drug user." When Britta asked
"First I want to ask if you are in recovery yourself?" She was asking if you were in recovery for codependency.
Many of the members that post here on the Friends and Family of Alcoholics Forum consider ourselves codependents. Codependents are families, relatives, and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking who have a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life. It, also, involves putting one's needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others, such as the alcoholic ex-boyfriend you described in your post.
If you're not sure if you are a codependent check out the Al-Anon Self Test
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...self-test.html
to find out for yourself.
I'm glad you answered your own question about whether or not you should contact your alcoholic ex-boyfriend's brother. His recovery program for his alcoholism is totally his responsibility. In Al-Anon we have an adage concerning alcoholism called the three Cs:
"I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and
I can't cure it".
Love and Peace,
Phoenix