Hi Dyana and welcome to our family
It's heartbreaking to read this. I have had to learn the hard way to detach from and let go of my alcoholic, but he is my husband. This is your son, so not taking care of him is contradictory to what you know you're suppose to be doing.
When he was a child, or young man, he needed your help. But what the others are saying is completely true-he is now an adult and is making his own choices.
The hardest lessen to learn is that there is nothing-absolutely nothing-you will be able to do to convince him to sober up. I think a lot of folks come here looking for help for a loved one, and find they can only help themselves-but believe it or not that is plenty. You can find peace by learning about alcoholism and yourself and how to heal yourself.
I will urge you to find al-anon meetings in your area and attend.
I also know there are plenty of other mothers of grown children with alcoholism here on this site and am sure they'll be along soon enough to give you first hand experience, strength and hope.