RaisinGirl -
Sending you hugs! Two months after celebrating our 20th anniversary my husband suffered near liver failure. 2 weeks in the hospital, followed by 3 weeks of inpatient therapy. Good for about 16 months and now he's been relapsing since Thanksgiving.
Without Alanon - I would have NOT made it or even understood it. I've had to accept that his addiction is stronger than our relationship/love/marriage ... I sure didn't like accepting that. Some meetings are better than others - some days are better than others. But when I finally had the Ah-Ha meeting - it was priceless!! You will have them too -
Buy some of the literature they offer. I had never heard the terms "co-dependent" or enabler" until I went. I wasn't angery then but I thought I was going to learn more about him - more about his healing ... HA! What a blessing Alanon was - it was for me and about me. I'm not sure how your life is right now but when I started to understand Alanon and learn some new life tools - my whole life improved. you will hear that in Alanon too - someone while talk about a crisis they had last night then someone that has not been with their qualifier (alcoholic) for years will relate how they managed a business situation with their Alanon knowledge.
I've referred to the information in Alanon and AA as life skills - everyone benefits from it!
Try a variety of meetings to see how they fit. My hang up was the fear/pressure/guilt of religion. I read some items online that referred to God, Higher Power - I was already crushed ... I couldn't handle the guilt of not having religion too. None of that was true! Some have strong faith and some have their personal "Higher Power" - your God as you know. I was so relieved!
AND I'm not as paranoid as I was then!!! lol
I'm a newbie to this site too but have attended Alanon for about 18 months - regularly then irregularly - what ever worked best for me at the time.
It's OK to to focus on you and take care of you!!