Originally Posted by
Snack4 
I know relationships in the first year are iffy at best, but he is past that. Are they (men I guess is what I am asking) usually emotionally immature when it comes to relationships? Is it normal for them to profess their love to you only to turn and chase an old flame that they have not seen in 23 years?
Snack,
Speaking as a recovering alcoholic and a guy, I would question that he is "past that." The one year rule of thumb is only that: a rule of thumb. If the man you have dated is still acting that way, I would suggest that it is for one of two reasons
a) he is and will remain emotionally immature. If this is a 23 year ago relationship, we're not talking about a teenager. Face it - he's acting like one.
b) he is living in some fantasy world where it is easier to try to resurrect fond memories of a long-dead relationship with someone who lives far away than to have a face to face relationship in the here and now.
In my view, it almost doesn't matter but if I was a gambling man, I would say your guy is b). Competing with a fantasy for his affections is at best a waste of time. Worse would be to win his affections, and be stuck in a relationship with someone incapable of being honest about where he is and what he wants. Add being an alcoholic on top of that, and you have a whole lot of heartache ahead if you pursue this relationship as it stands today. If he gets his act together, figures out what he wants and understands that YOU are what he wants, you will hear from him. Until that time (and if you were my sister, I would say run, not walk from this situation), do yourself a favor and move on. Life is short and too precious to waste allowing others to squander your love and time.