Scooter77

I've been eagerly attending my regular weekly Al Anon meeting all this year. A few months in I realised that one of the other members (I'll call her B) worked with my Mother. Of course I didnt say anything to B, it didnt seem appropriate. My Mum however realised the connection and asked me about her. I said that I knew B but it wasnt appropriate to discuss the meeting and I'd appreciate if she didnt say anything to her.

Now my Mum and I get along pretty well, she helps me out with my kids whenever I ask. But she has her quirks. Especially when it comes to me.

For one thing, my Mum has this way of pointing out what she thinks I suck at and backing it up with someone's elses opinion. Just so I get the message that I'm not doing whatever well enough, and that everyone else knows and agrees. She especially loves to do this with people who would be otherwise in my corner. She even tried it one time when she came along to my counsellor, who incidently shot her down in flames....love my counsellor for that!

So, the other day when I picked up my kids from my Mum's work, she walked out with B from my meeting!
As you can expect, B was rather surprised. She thought she was coming out to meet a colleagues daughter and found me. B was fine & we had a chuckle about what a small world it is.

I spent Xmas day with my Mum and my kids. As we're chatting she mentions B and says to me "oh when I was talking to B, she said to me isn't it amazing just how closed off scooter is?". As if they'd been chatting about my lacking spiritual progress and are in agreement about how poorly I am achieving personal growth.

Thing is, I don't know B as anything other than another fellowship member but after listening to her spill her soul for the last 12 months, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have said anything like that. But I have no idea what my Mum said to her to instigate a discussion about me. And now I feel uncomfortable about going to my meeting.

I think I need to find a polite way to ask her not to indulge my mother's curiosity, but who's to say she'll respect that - either intentionally or by accident.

What really craps me off is that I respect B, she's fantastic to listen to and talk with at meetings. But now I don't feel that she's safe to speak to, or in front of. I'm really pissed at my Mum for doing this. In fact, I even re-worked step one last night just to remind myself that I can't control the situation. But I feel I'm left in a position where I need to protect myself, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it.

I'd appreciate any suggestions...