Thank you, everyone. Things were so much better when we were NC, SailorJohn! You're right!
He knows (should know) that talking about "the relationship" means talking about ending it. Our last conversation was earlier this week--he called me, a first since he's been gone. I told him I thought he should stay where he is and not come back, and I told him I'd let that sink in and we'd talk again later.
That is pretty manipulative to say different things to his mom, knowing she was about to call me (she told him so).
I am going to a friend's tonight but now I wish I had written down the location of the Al-Anon meeting that is meeting tonight instead of being canceled like all the rest. I am going to try to meditate or something and get a sponsor when I go to my (now regular) meeting tomorrow!
Thanks everyone...I am driving myself nuts with this and need to calm down!