brittbritt,
Welcome! We're glad you found us.
I was married to an alcoholic for six years. We went through many of the things you mentioned. My life became as insane as his. In the end I had to save myself. We've been divorced nearly a year. Nothing made him stop...not jail, d.u.i., nearly losing his life, health, rehab, divorce. Nothing. He will stop if and when he wants to and I pray for him to do so.
This forum and AlAnon saved my life. I have learned that all I can do is to take care of myself. My life is returning to normal and is so much better than it was while living with an alcoholic.
Codependent No More by Melanie Beaty is excellent. The more you educate yourself the better prepared you will be to do what you need to do to take care of you and your children.
I urge you to find an AlAnon group that you feel comfortable with. I am a better person for being a member of my group.