I can completely relate to this post. After having a good sex life (really good) I married xah. Let's just say aside from the lack of desire to desire someone that wasted, the selfishness even when he was not wasted made me realize there was never going to be a time there would be any intimacy and realized there would not even be adequate sex. I just turned myself off.
I was not holding out or punishing him (I had been accused of that). I was also called frigid. Heartless. Unable to love (yeah, let's just say when your view is the ceiling and you start thinking--peach, yeah I think I'll paint the ceiling peach you sort of know you just want it to be over).
Just think 14 years of crappy sex or no sex-I cannot believe I did not have an affair. But like I said--I just shut it off. It was easier than being frustrated or disgusted.
So when I left I was concerned that part of me really had died--until recently when I discovered it was alive and back to normal.
